One fine day I got back from school and decided that I was gosu enough to start asking for 1v1s in the channel.
|
|
Apparently, I was so gosu that when I entered the channel, everyone got frightened and hid themselves. They kept very quiet and pretended they didn't hear me. But I was way too smart for them.. Man, if you can't hear me, how can you tell me "no one hears you."? Now that's something to ponder about...
I decided to make a game anyway, to see if any brave souls dared challenge me.
 |
Some guy named Computer (what a dumb name) actually joined just as I was trying to close the 2nd slot. He was very rude and refused to return my kind greetings. I chose Zerg and somehow I managed to change his race to Terran when he wasn't paying attention (hehe Terran sucks!) and started the game.
|
I spawned on the right side of the map and I found his wimpy little terran base at the bottom. He killed my scouting Zergling with a couple of his bad manner marines=[ This made me really pissed. I had no choice but to use my ultimate-super-secret-gosu build order for this game just cause he was so bad manner.
When I had just completed my super-gosu build order, a Zergling I had stationed outside his base warned me of an impending attack, with his life. This guy just gets more bad manner by the minute!
|
But that's alright! hehe.. My super-gosu one hatchery build order had provided me with a more than adequate welcoming committee : 3 Ultralisks and 2 dozen Zerglings with the +1 attack upgrade too!
OMG! Gosu gosu gosu! |
This picture needs only one word to describe it :
OWNED! kekee.. |
After his super fiasco, I gathered my troops and commenced a counter attack.
WEEeeeeeee.... |
My gosu attack would have been successful if not for a god damn...
...MEDIC blocking the ramp. |
My poor Ultralisks were smitten upon seeing such a ravishing creature and they ran around below the ramp looking for pretty flowers to offer her. My Zergling horde however, didn't give her a second look and they charged up the ramp and got themselves slaughtered by a bunch of cowardly marines in a bunker.
The three lumbering Ultralisks eventually came to their senses and did a fair amount of damage to the base before being dispatched by a bad manner tank.=[ Damn foiled again!
|
Anyway, I soon had more Ultralisks with anabolic synthesis and chitinous plating...
..to OWN his choboass with. Heheheee... |
I owned him so hard that he left without saying "GG". Oh well... all I can say is that Battle.net has got to get more players... Especially good manner players like [aLt]. Huk huk me good manner 1:1 manner game ok? /\/\
THE END
I hope you enjoyed the battle report. I promise the next one will be a real game with real gosu players. Please tell all your friends to visit this fine site http://come.to/[alt] and ummm..tell them to start playing Starcraft because its so damn fun. THX.-Pony